Here's a question I've been struggling with lately and I want your input. Is it wrong to lie to your kids? My first instinct is, yes! of course it's wrong to lie to your kids. I tell them all the time not to lie to me. Here's an example: Madison (4) has been biting Ryan (2). Even if I know what happened, I ask her to tell me what she did. She's pretty slick most of the time and it's hard to catch her in a lie. Her most recent response was, the cat bit him. I wouldn't be surprised if the cat did bite Ryan because it's happened before. Anyway, on this particular day of the cat-biting incident, the cat was upstairs in my bedroom with me while the alleged biting was occuring. Nice try, Madison. I lectured Madison on the moral implications of lying and the long-term effects (i.e. I won't be able to trust you, EVER, if you lie to me). So, I may have gone a little overboard...
Shortly after this lecture, I found myself lying to my son. Nothing too serious, mind you, but just little lies that make it easier to get through the day. Here's an example of one of my day-smoothing lies. Ryan is suddenly very picky about his wardrobe. The only clothes he will wear are hand-me-downs from his cousin Josh. I've found myself labeling everything as formerly Josh's just to get my boy dressed in the morning. Is that wrong?
Another example: "Mom, are there any cookies left?" My answer: "Nope, no more cookies." Truth: "There are plenty of cookies left, but I don't want you having anymore." It wouldn't be that much harder to tell the truth, but if I say there are no more cookies, there's no fight involved. My kids can be quite the beggars and when I'm cooking supper, I just don't want to deal with it. Again, is that wrong? Leave your opinion in the comments if you want to share.
P.S. Thanks for your patience regarding my posting. I've been a little busy lately.
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4 comments:
You know what, I am sure our parents at one point or another did the same thing and a lot of them was like you said to avoid a fight. The clothes thing with Ryan I think is funny, but kinda sweet at the same time that he wants to wear Josh's clothes. Anyway, hope to see you all this weekend.
I'm sure most parents do it. It's just so easy! Thanks for posting! See you this weekend.
I guess my answer would be that it just depends on the situation. We had something like this a few days ago. The kids overheard Andrew tell me that they needed to finish their Hep. B shots and they flipped out. I mean screaming, crying fits. So to smooth things out Andrew finally says "Okay, we won't go." I told him in front of them that he has to tell them the truth because it will cause them not to trust him. So he told them the truth and they cried, then we prayed for them to have courage and bravery. After that things were fine. I have also noticed things like this with another teacher I work with (more details on the phone) and her kids don't trust her at all. I think it's okay in the little things. You won't put your kids on a psychiatrist's couch over a cookie! So I guess it just depends on the situation. Sorry for such a long post!
Steph,
Don't apologize for the long post. I think you put it well that it depends on the situation. Thanks for the input.
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