I had a pretty rough morning with my kids today. I was attempting to telecommute and they were fighting the whole process. I actually wanted to run away from home! Have you ever had one of those days? This was probably my all-time worst. I felt defeated and like a failure. What kind of mom am I if I can't handle a morning with my kids? In case you can't tell, I feel pretty guilty about the morning. I won't go into anymore detail because I'm embarrassed of my behavior and how I treated my kids. (Nothing terrible, but I definitely wasn't the loving, gentle mom that I'm trying to be.)
On my way to work there was a song playing on the radio that really hit home for me. I'm not sure of the title or the artist, but the line that kept being repeated was "you're gonna miss these days." At the beginning of the song, my attitude was still rotten from my morning and my response to the key line was, "yeah, right! I don't think I'll miss this chaos!" The last verse of the song was about a mom with one child crying and one child screaming while the phone was ringing and a man was trying to repair the hot water heater. The mom kept apologizing to the repairman for all the chaos. The repairman told her that no apology was necessary and explained that she would miss these days. Wow, did that sum up my morning! Even now as I think about it, it makes me tear up. I have lost a morning with my kids that I will never get back. Ever since I had my first child, people have been telling me how fast time goes and that I'm going to miss this, but I've never believed them. Yeah, I know time goes fast, but why would I miss this? There are many days when I'm begging for bedtime to come for my kids so I can do things that I want to do. How selfish is that? Yes, I need time for myself, but there will also be plenty of time for that after my kids grow up and leave me. I want to have happy memories to keep me company while they're gone.
I think the phrase "these days fly by" is slightly inaccurate. I think it's more accurate to say "the days don't go quickly, but the years sure do." You'll find thoughts and articles similar to this idea on http://www.family.org/. They have some great marriage, parenting, etc resources. Check it out if you have time and enjoy your kids!